Cleaning? Phsst! I can do that.....later

My husband is having friends over Friday. Just a couple guys, he says. And beer. What a great combination. Does that mean I have to take care of the kids on Saturday? I have things to do! Grocerys to buy, a pedicure to have, ironing to do.

Oh how selfish of me. bleh, whatever!

Friday. That's tomorrow. I have been calm thus far.

We do have 4 children and I haven't the time to dust. There must be seven layers of dust on our furniture. If you ever come to my home please leave your white gloves at the door otherwise I might have to kick you out. With a foot.

Friday.

Guests.

I am not ready, yet I remain calm. What can I do? I will gather up all of the crap laying around and stuff it into my 'Monica' closet. Everyone has one. Even you I bet. Well maybe not EVERYONE as I know a person or two who are very tidy. Careful coming to my house you tidy people as your pants might stick to the chair when you sit down and you might be leaving my house with a red jelly stain on your 'tidy' butt.

I dust, I Windex, I vaccuum, I cram things into places that don't fit just to make the mess disappear. Oh, I know. It didn't REALLY disappear and when I open that crammed Monica closet things are going to fall on my head. BUT while the guests are here, I won't see the mess and my home will be as clean as Marthas.

Even if it is all a facade, I will be deemed a good housekeeper. Just call me Betty.

There are some things that I just cannot fix around here. Like my lack of vision when it comes to adding decor.

I was not born with the decorating gene or what I call the 'Martha' gene. This can sometimes stress me out. I have moments when I stand still and look at things around my home and wonder why I bought THAT and why I thought THAT would go with THAT. I need assistance. I need a personal decorator because I know that those flowery throw pillows do not go with our beige couch. I want to hire the woman from Devine Design. She has good taste. She has vision.

But for now, I will just put things where they fit and hope for the best. I don't measure so I will just pound a nail and hope for the best. I don't plan, I just buy an item that I like and hope for the best.

Crap! Am I supposed to serve the guests food too?

I cleaned and crammed and rearranged. Cheezits will have to do.